Poznan In My Pants

  • Mission Statement
    Immediately after the United Chelsea result in the late afternoon of April 4th, every member of the squad received a mysterious but urgent call to assemble IMMEDIATELY at the London Colney training ground. Within 30 minutes, every player had arrived. The group was buzzing and speculation was rampant as to ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2017-04-16By poznaninmypants
    3 months ago
  • Consider My Loins Girded
    And so, as the next match approaches, I begin my weekend rituals and ablutions in preparation for another moment when our season, and so much more, hangs by a thread, suspended from an invisible hand of fate. This mischievous puppeteer makes dance a series of invisible wires, stretched taut ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2017-04-15By poznaninmypants
    3 months ago
  • Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants…
    “Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants, but the one it needs right now.” – Lt. James Gordon. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on song…Xhaka’s wingman. Handler of the press, dribbler par excellence, counter-attacker, sprayer of passes. From such kindling can the season’s embers burn bright once more. The betting has Arsenal at ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2017-02-14By poznaninmypants
    5 months ago
  • The Giroud:Perez Axis
    Lucas Perez…The Forgotten Man. It seems oddly fitting that Lucas Perez keeps slipping from our consciousness. He arrived with much fanfare and speculation. The season started. And then we waited to see our first proper sighting of Perez. And waited. And waited. When we eventually did see him start, it ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2017-01-12By poznaninmypants
    6 months ago
  • Chicks Are Weird
    Chicks Are Weird… Note: This is not about football this time. This is a story from my dating days… My girlfriend asked me to clean out her skin care bag. 37 items! How does anyone hold down a job with 37 skin care items, I ask you? I said, 37 ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-12-29By poznaninmypants
    7 months ago
  • Broke Back Bournemouth
    Broke Back Bournemouth The understanding that Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil are now displaying is fairly breath-taking at times. They are becoming a continuation of each other, becoming more and more interchangeable on the pitch with every game as seen most clearly when Ozil takes the striker spot and waits ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-12-01By poznaninmypants
    8 months ago
  • I BEG TO DIFFER
    I BEG TO DIFFER I read your opinion on Twitter. I beg to differ. Unfortunately, narratives are far neater than reality. (Reality is a thoroughly messy affair upon close inspection.) When me and them other professional journalists write our stuff for you, we simplify, we drop the nuance and the ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-11-24By poznaninmypants
    8 months ago
  • Patrick Timmons Is Shite
    Right, I am about to write my worst blog ever. It’s an exposé of what those populist Arsenal-tweeting/retweeting accounts are up to and why. I’m going to expose them by telling you everything I know and have learned about them. You know them: Mike Sanz (62K followers) Danny Wel-Beast (50K followers) Patrick ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-09-18By poznaninmypants
    10 months ago
  • Why I love Pre-Pre-Season
    I love pre-season. Or even pre-pre-season. Those 1st couple of games against nobodies (although Lens were pretty handy and these MLS lads are well up for it too.) Those games against Thailand XI or Outer Mongolia XI, who it should be noted won last summer’s MONCACAF trophy by beating Inner ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-07-27By poznaninmypants
    12 months ago
  • The 1st Rule Of Mesut Özil Club…Or How I learned To Löw Jogi
    The First Rule Of Mesut Özil Club: In an underground bunker basement stands Mesut Özil, dimly lit, encircled by a tough, intense and edgy crowd of wanna be warriors, hanging on his every word. “Welcome to Mesut Özil Club.” “The first rule of Mesut Özil Club is: Before you shoot, ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-07-02By poznaninmypants
    1 year ago
  • Don’t Cut The Red Wire. Don’t Touch A F*ck*ng Thing
    Yes, it was only “Everton playing at home.” But still they put out a feared and respected set of players in attack, midfield and at wing-back on both sides. We had just played a midweek match against the might of Barhhhehlllohhhnah yet it was Roberto Martinez who conceded that his ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-03-31By poznaninmypants
    1 year ago
  • The Premier League Title Is In Our Hands.
    The Premier League Title Is In our Hands. Well, well, well. Hasn’t the old shit been hitting the old fan in Arsenal Land lately. Brother turned against brother, sister against sister, father against son, nephew against great grand uncle, first cousin twice removed against second cousin three times removed. Look, ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-03-08By poznaninmypants
    1 year ago
  • Arsenal 3.0 is Espresso Arsenal
    Arsenal 3.0 is Espresso Arsenal A rather depressing conversation happened among the analytics crowd today. The short version? City and particularly Arsenal have had the bottom fall out of the Shots and Shots-On-Target levels as this season progresses while Spurs have taken off like a rocket. We’re the BLUE line ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2016-02-18By poznaninmypants
    1 year ago
  • LANS: Like A New Season
    LANS All this moaning about LANS – Like A New Signing. I think you guys are missing the big picture here… We are simply resting a bunch of key players till January & February. And therefore possibly February & March. When they all come back it’ll be the mother of all LANS. ... read more
    Source: Poznan In My PantsPublished on 2015-12-04By poznaninmypants
    2 years ago